I used to work in television so I should watch the Emmy's. A top 20 show I worked on before and during my pregnancy is up for two acting nominations. Do I care if my former co-workers win? A little, I guess.
Anyway, here's a timeline of my night at the Emmy's--
8:33pm--I remember the Emmy's are on after getting Eliza to sleep after 15 minutes of crying. Getting closer and closer to crying it out. I watch Kelly McDonald win and wonder who Kelly McDonald is. Then she goes up to accept her speech and I wonder what kind of accent she has. During her speech I start gnawing on one of Eliza's teething biscuits. I regret this decision when I realize how dense these things are. It may take a while for me to get this "biscuit" out of my back molars.
8:36pm--the voiceover mentions Heidi Klum and I remember I once worked with her former husband. He was a fashion hairdresser and I'd assumed he was gay simply because he cut and spritzed hair. I remember the person who told me this hairdresser was hitched to Heidi said, "C'mon, look who he's married to, I mean they call her the body. He's so not gay." I relive my embarrassment for automatically assuming a man fingers women's hair doesn't play for the hetero team.
8:45pm--sneak a peak at the TV to see that Heidi Klum, even after two children, still lives up to the nickname "The Body." Jon Stewart wins for talk show host and calls his win a "mistake."
8:49pm--A director I worked with is up for an Emmy for outstanding direction of a comedy series. He doesn't win.
9:04pm--I'm appalled that my first "crush" was on Barry Manilow. I used to sing "Copa Cabana" with tears in my eyes. Now he reminds me of Cloris Leachman or the Church Lady. Anyone who thinks Botox is an exclusively female phenomenon hasn't seen Barry lately. Isn't that special?
9:17pm--Four directors I've worked with were up for outstanding direction in a drama series and still they give it to the guy I don't know. Am I bad luck?
9:18pm--I'm not bad luck, one of the writers I've worked with just won. On his way up to the podium, he hugged the show's creator. I wonder if he said "Je t'aime" the way C did when he met this guy after one too many martinis (see my entry "The C Drunk" for more on this). I still have teething biscuit stuck in my teeth.
9:44pm--I'm supremely glad that the lovely blonde beside Tony Shalhoub is his daughter. As they cut to commercial they show a clip of Aaron Spelling and I change my mind about Barry Manilow looking like Cloris and Churchie--he looks like Tori's dad.
9:51pm--How is it that Stephen Collins somehow looks older than Joan Collins? TV that "tasted good?" Please, don't remind me of food. I already feel so guilty for those potato chips I wolfed down 30 minutes ago. I console myself by realizing how bad it would have been if I'd bought that box of wheat thins. Really, how does Joan C do it?
10:07pm--Closing in on my bedtime. I just finished mixing formula for Eliza's cereal tomorrow and putting it away. I bought this brand of formula because it was on sale figuring it didn't matter as I use it primarily for her cereal. No matter what I do, it always ends up really lumpy. Eliza ate cereal mixed with water throughout Italy but still I won't do it here, I tell myself the formula must be healthier. I consider pumping again but decide the extra sleep is worth more than pumped milk. The water in my building will be off all day tomorrow and I wonder what else I should do to prepare for a waterless home.
SHOWER!!! I think that brings my Emmy watching to a close. Last year, I probably watched the show to the bitter end, comparing the dresses and wondering how no one in the audience picks their teeth when the camera swoops over them. Now I mix formula, eat potato chips and dream of a shower without Eliza howling in the background.
RANDOM THOUGHT--Has Julia Roberts worked since she had her twins?
10:34pm--I should be in the shower but was putzing on the computer and just saw one of the actors I worked with last year win the Emmy. Makes me kind of sad I'm no longer with the show. Oh well, best get in that shower and get to bed. Even if I still worked with this actor, this Emmy win wouldn't do anything to improve the quality of my life. The birth of my daughter--'nother story. I never used the word satisfied to describe myself until now.
Love you Eliza. Good night all.
